Inspired by that cute list circling the Internet (where a comedian wrote down why his wife was crying for a month), local man, Ted Johnson decided to make a similar list! “But a month?” He said laughing. “I don’t know if there’s enough paper in the world for that! My wife cries so much that I just wrote down what she cried about for a WEEK!” Awww.
Ted’s List includes:
Because of a sad commercial during Grey’s Anatomy!
When I slapped her in the face for talking during Grey’s Anatomy!
When I called her a whore!
When I threw her down the stairs and she missed Grey’s Anatomy!
When she was on her period and that beer bottle I threw at her knocked out her front teeth!
Because swans can be gay!
When I told her that no one but me would ever love her!
When I murdered a bunch of gay swans!
Because I put the bloody swans’ heads on her pillow and she remembered how I murdered those gay swans!
When I took out that ad during Grey’s Anatomy and had financed a whole commercial that had a series of just unflattering pictures of her with the caption, “this is why no one but me will ever love you.”
Because “Swans!” is what I yelled right before I ran her over with my car!
Can those two BE any cuter??