Another Husband Writes Cute List About Why Wife is Crying!

Inspired by that cute list circling the Internet (where a comedian wrote down why his wife was crying for a month), local man, Ted Johnson decided to make a similar list! “But a month?” He said laughing. “I don’t know if there’s enough paper in the world for that! My wife cries so much that I just wrote down what she cried about for a WEEK!” Awww.

Ted’s List includes:

Because of a sad commercial during Grey’s Anatomy!

When I slapped her in the face for talking during Grey’s Anatomy!

When I called her a whore!

When I threw her down the stairs and she missed Grey’s Anatomy!

When she was on her period and that beer bottle I threw at her knocked out her front teeth!

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Because swans can be gay!

When I told her that no one but me would ever love her!

When I murdered a bunch of gay swans!

Because I put the bloody swans’ heads on her pillow and she remembered how I murdered those gay swans!

When I took out that ad during Grey’s Anatomy and had financed a whole commercial that had a series of just unflattering pictures of her with the caption, “this is why no one but me will ever love you.”

Because “Swans!” is what I yelled right before I ran her over with my car!

Can those two BE any cuter??

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